In an article for The Bulwark published Monday, neoconservative writer William Kristol offers a satirical, first-person “diary” imagining how President Donald Trump might narrate his own recent strategies.
The satirical diary begins with a brief, sympathetic reference to flooding in Texas. “Terrible news out of Texas, where more than 80 people have died” — before the imagined Trump voice pivots sharply to boastful self-reflection.
Trump declares, “I can’t believe it’s been so easy… I’m good at this. And I’ve gotten even better.”
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He contrasts his current confidence with his 2017 self, lamenting that he followed the advice to hire establishment figures and be cautious. He brands that caution “Bull—-” and questions why he didn’t fire Mueller, Mattis, Kelly, Barr, and McGahn earlier — “More bull—-. I could have handled it.”
Claiming to have assembled a team of loyalists once deemed too extreme, the imagined Trump voice then asserts that all it took was persistence and ignoring the establishment’s “bleating.” He sneers at institutional resistance — Republican party, Congress, the Court, media — calling them “pathetic” and credits Roy Cohn’s dictum: “Push, push, push—and they’ll all fold like a cheap suit.”
He then boasts about his administration’s success: “the best first six months of any administration, ever,” with a “big” and “beautiful” bill passed before July 4 — despite warnings it would take longer and need to be split into two.
He says it “keeps the rich guys happy,” but emphasizes the real prize was the $170 billion allocation for internal policing.
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Finally, Trump outlines a quasi-authoritarian plan: “mass deportation” as “the path to seizing and consolidating power,” crediting his aide Steve Miller for rallying xenophobic fervor. He repeats his admiration for loyalty — “more importantly, he’s loyal” — ending with chilling resolve: “Revenge and retribution are gonna be sweet.”
The piece imagines Trump as unapologetically aggressive, dismissive of the establishment, fixated on loyalty, driven by authoritarian impulses, and gleefully anticipating vindictive power moves.
“He’s becoming a more effective bully, and no one is getting in his way,” the piece notes.
In June, The Washington Post reported that Trump is intensifying efforts to remake the federal civil service — historically a nonpartisan, skill-based body — into one that prioritizes loyalty to his administration.
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The Office of Personnel Management also introduced a novel essay requirement for federal job applicants. Instead of traditional qualifications, applicants must now write brief essays outlining how they intend to advance Trump’s priorities — effectively an ideological litmus test to assess allegiance.