A new dad sparked a firestorm at home – and online – by suggesting he take a two-week vacation with his 8-month-old son, leaving his wife behind.
He shared his story on Reddit’s “Am I the A–hole” subreddit and asked if he was in the wrong.
While his wife of five years works an “intense and inflexible” job and has little paid time off left this year, his work can be done remotely and he still has paid time off to use, he said.
“I suggested I use some of my PTO to go away for a couple of weeks with the baby,” he wrote in the post. “I’d handle everything, and I was thinking of going somewhere really easy, like an all-inclusive resort so I don’t have to do much traveling.”
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That would give him and his wife a break, he said, and his wife could catch up on sleep too, he added.
But his wife refused. “Flat out ‘no,’ no discussion,” he said.
She cited concerns about separation anxiety, disrupting the baby’s routine and feeling left out.
He offered alternatives: bringing his mother to help, choosing a closer destination or even going alone.
“I guess I could stay home and just use the PTO right here, which is probably what she wants, but that feels like a bit of a waste,” he added. “Travel is one of the things we both love, and it feels like one of the few ways to really make use of my time off.”
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So, he turned to the internet, where many people were appalled by the suggestion, ruling “YTA,” the acronym for “You’re the A–hole.”
“I know this feels unfair, since you have so much PTO, but taking the baby away for WEEKS!!??” one person wrote, slamming the suggestion as “ludicrous.”
“That’s insane, bro,” said someone else.
“If my husband ever suggested taking our baby away from me, especially for a vacation, I would suggest he spend his PTO looking for a new wife,” another commenter said.
“You can’t just take the baby away like that,” wrote another. “Regardless if you have solo experience, the baby needs structure, routine, and time with mom.”
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David Gomez, a licensed marriage and family therapist in Rancho Mirage, Calif., said that two weeks for an 8-month-old to be away from a parent might be too long.
“This is a core attachment and bonding period for infants,” Gomez told Fox News Digital. “An absence like this can affect attachment.”
“A better approach might be to take either local or shorter trips,” he added.
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The dad did not reveal where he lives but said in one comment that it is a “small and somewhat inaccessible” country that makes it difficult and expensive to take short trips – but that he is open to different suggestions.
Some people online empathized with him.
A Canadian mom shared that she took her baby to her mother’s home an hour away during her maternity leave, sometimes without her husband.
“I get it that you may need a change of scenery,” she wrote.
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Others said that Reddit might treat a mother wanting a solo baby trip differently.
One person said that they see many posts online about “inconsiderate dads who don’t even want to change diapers,” and that this dad’s willingness to care for the baby alone was refreshing. “I wish more dads felt like this,” the person said.
Jo Hayes, an Australia-based parenting consultant and founder of EtiquetteExpert.org, said it’s unfair for the wife to refuse all the options her husband proposed.
“He sounds like a very capable dad – confident in his ability to manage the baby on his own, and, in fact, enjoy it during vacation,” Hayes told Fox News Digital.
The family could talk over video chat every day, or the wife could try to meet them for a portion of the trip, she suggested.
The key, Hayes added, is for the couple to communicate clearly and calmly.
“Love, kindness and compassion are essential in any marital communication, to reaffirm the marital bond and remind the other – and oneself – that you are a team, especially in raising a child,” she said.
Fox News Digital has reached out to the original poster for comment.