Here’s your chance to help Melania Trump with her crappy Christmas decor

‘Tis the season in MAGA-land. 

On Monday, first lady Melania Trump officially opened applications for volunteers to help decorate the White House and perform there during the holiday season. 

For some, this is a chance to make the halls of the president’s residence feel like yet another gothic fever dream. For others, it’s an opportunity to break in the paved-over Rose Garden, which no longer features soft grassy ground beneath visitors’ feet. 

And while the lucky applicants won’t receive any assistance for travel, accommodations, or expenses associated with the trip and their work there, at least the first lady can avoid lifting another finger for her least favorite holiday.

In this Nov. 26, 2018, file photo, topiary trees line the East Colonnade during the 2018 Christmas preview at the White House in Washington.

For those who may or may not recall, the notoriously silent wifey of President Donald Trump has long been in the shadows, cursing her duties as first lady long before dipping out completely during her husband’s second term. 

“I’m working like a—my ass off at Christmas stuff,” she said in a leaked audio recording in 2018. “Who gives a fuck about Christmas stuff and decoration? But I have to do it, right?”

Indeed, who gives a fuck about Christmas decor when she has better things to do like star in her own Amazon documentary?

Even typical first-lady activities like the summer reading list seemed to be below the Slovenia-born model as second lady Usha Vance was left to pick up the slack.

Then again, Melania’s absence seems to be A-okay with MAGA’s most loyal, who dropped the suggestion that an opera house at the Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts be renamed after her.


Related | What the f-ck is the First Lady Melania Trump Opera House?


After all, nothing says art, grace, and holiday cheer like blood-red trees and a big bah-humbug. 

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