I’m as close to a card-carrying evangelical as you can get. I tote my Bible everywhere, I’m married to a Baptist pastor/chaplain, and I hold fast to sola scriptura.

But since I first waded into the culture war more than a decade ago, I’ve experienced a surprising and sweet solidarity … with Catholics.

Yes, our differences matter. Yes, we should debate them. But we must refuse to destroy one another in the process.

Catholic thinkers first introduced me to natural law, a framework that became the foundation of my nonprofit’s work, Them Before Us. Over the years, I’ve stood shoulder to shoulder with Catholic friends in the trenches of some of our most significant cultural battles: fighting the transgender juggernaut, overturning Roe v. Wade, and defending parental rights against government overreach. None of those victories could have been accomplished had either side fought alone.

And yet, lately, I’ve been watching that solidarity fray. If we don’t recognize what’s happening and why, it will strip us of the ability to wage successful future battles.

Shared battlefields, different churches

Make no mistake: I’m not suggesting that our theological differences don’t matter. They do.

I’ve had Catholic friends tell me, lovingly, that they’re praying that I’ll “come home to the one true Church.” I’ve smiled and told them, just as lovingly, that I don’t believe the veil was torn so I could pray to St. Joseph.

I’m deeply uneasy with the level of attention given to Mary (“It’s not worship, it’s veneration,” they’ve explained to me over and over). But I also believe many Protestants undervalue Mary’s radical obedience and submission to God. Fun fact: Years ago, I even named a brief LLC “The Lord’s Handmaid” because I wanted everything in my work to reflect Mary’s posture, “Let it be done to me according to Your word.”

They think I don’t know enough church history. And to be fair … they’re right. I was shocked when I overheard a Catholic share that her favorite verse was found in the Book of David.

We have significant doctrinal differences, worth discussing, worth debating, even worth worshiping separately over. But the differences have never escalated into open warfare between us. And the peace we’ve worked to keep has yielded real, tangible results — wins we’d never see without cooperation.

Shots across the Tiber

But something’s shifted. In recent months, I’ve seen evangelicals and Catholics turn on each other in ways I haven’t witnessed before.

Maybe it’s because conservatives have regained some level of cultural influence, at least online, and old tensions are resurfacing. Maybe it’s because conflict drives traffic and subscriptions for those who monetize outrage. Whatever the reason, the tone has grown brutal. Personal. Ugly.

Instead of sharpening one another through debate, we’re seeing believers on both sides calling each other stupid. Hypocritical. We’re seeing slander, misrepresentation, and clickbait-level caricatures.

Meanwhile, there are wolves at the door — figures like Father James Martin on the Catholic side and Matthew Vines on the Protestant side — actively working to erode the teachings of both traditions. I would, and have, sent my children to learn (about philosophy, relationships, marriage, IVF, transgenderism) under faithful Catholic teachers. I would never do the same with Preston Sprinkle or Jen Hatmaker. I have far more in common with faithful Catholics than with progressive Protestants who have rejected biblical truth.

And yet, if we let these intra-Christian fractures widen, our fragile but powerful unity will crumble. And when it does, so will our ability to face what’s still ahead.

The battle ahead requires us both

My nonprofit, Them Before Us, is spearheading a coalition to challenge gay marriage. It’s equal to, or maybe more difficult than, the task of overturning Roe v. Wade. Retaking and restoring the institution of marriage, legally and culturally, will demand a united front.

It can’t be done by Catholics alone. It can’t be done by Protestants alone. And it definitely can’t be done if we waste our strength sniping at each other while the real enemy advances.

Yes, our differences matter. Yes, we should debate them. But we must refuse to destroy one another in the process. The stakes for children, families, and the future are far too high for friendly fire.

Faithful Catholics and Protestants may never worship under the same roof, but we can and must fight under the same banner for the sake of the children whose futures hang in the balance. Let’s debate with respect but lock arms where it counts, so together we can reclaim the one institution that safeguards every child: marriage.

This article was adapted from an essay originally published on Katy Faust’s Substack, Them Before Us.