‘Cartoon villain!’ Vance under fire after report he raised river for family kayak outing

Vice President JD Vance was buried in mockery on Wednesday evening after a report that his team asked the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers to raise the water level of the Little Miami River in Ohio to facilitate a family kayaking trip.

The Corps confirmed to The Guardian that they modified the river outflow from Caesar Creek Lake, officially citing the need to “support safe navigation” for the vice president’s security team. However, at least one source familiar with the operation told the outlet that the adjustment was also made to create “ideal kayaking conditions” for Vance’s family. The Guardian couldn’t independently verify this claim.

River level changes coincided with Vance’s visit, and social media posts showed him kayaking in the area for his birthday.

The internet predictably blasted Vance over the report.

Democratic strategist Adam Parkhomenko wrote on Bluesky, “Trump says Epstein is a hoax. Meanwhile, JD Vance just had the Army Corps raise the water level of a damn river… for a birthday kayak trip. These guys aren’t just corrupt they’re cartoon villains.”

He added: “One’s lying about pedophiles, the other’s playing God with public infrastructure so his canoe doesn’t scrape bottom.”

Clara Jeffery, editor-in-chief of Mother Jones’ Center for Investigative Reporting, chimed in on Bluesky, “Low key one of the worst [abuses] of power ever?”

She added in separate posts,” Feel like Tim ‘we portage in the boundary waters MFer’ Waltz can have a total field day with this one,” and “The way this guy uses family vacation time to continually troll and abuse America is quite something.”

Josh Marshall‪, founder of Talking Points Memo, joked, “Pls, this a well known Appalachian folk way, having the army corps of engineers redirect a small river for you boat outing.”

“This is a real, ‘I wanna be first in queue for the guillotine!’ move by JD Vance,” chided filmmaker and actor Josh Ravenwood on Bluesky.

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